Recently, I was talking with someone about how, when all your hard work starts to pay off and you begin to actually see the things you had hoped for – things like recognition from fans and subscribers, more money, the ability to delegate, etc. – it actually triggers some pretty bad feelings.
Feelings that tell you you’re somehow unworthy or you don’t deserve what you’ve created. Feelings that make you fear, perhaps, you’re speaking out of turn, offending people, being a D-I-V-A.
Feelings that tell you, “stay humble.”
I’m sure we can ALL relate to this, but, personally, I’ve never been a fan of “staying humble.”
Furthermore, I think “staying humble” is especially problematic for women in the online marketing space. None of the marketing bros ever give a second thought to staying humble, and I think it’s absolutely possible to completely let go of the concept of humility without projecting a distinct type of masculinity a lot of women don’t want to project.
Truthfully, for most of us, what feels like conceit – an overcorrection of confidence – is most likely just bringing ourselves back to the middle, to balance.
But, here’s what you need to know about these feelings that seem to crop up once you begin to get what you’re after …
Getting recognition for being the person you’re working hard to become can feel both exhilarating and extremely uncomfortable. That’s normal for many of us.
However, I think a big part of personal development is letting go of patterns that don’t support our ultimate vision of ourselves for the impulses and instincts that do – because they are actually our true nature.
Think about this: all the work you’ve done is paying off. You’ve been practicing visibility and your audience loves you, you’ve built a business foundation and you’re able to delegate, etc.
Then, it seems like some patterns kick in where you project yourself to a place where you’re somehow taking advantage of some un-earned privilege, getting “too big for your britches,” lacking humility, etc.
In other words, you’re resisting what feels good because it’s unfamiliar.
But, what if you could make a choice to simply enjoy the result of all your hard work, however uncomfortable?
What if, when your mind goes to that place of, “I’m being conceited, I didn’t really earn this,” you identified this thought for what it is – a lie – and stopped believing it?
The point here is to simply stop resisting what feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable. When you feel triggered, ask if it’s discomfort. If it is – be honest! – then square your shoulders and lean into it.